Warning for those who may be having difficulty speaking in tongues.
There may be some underlying spiritual forces opposing you.

I often went for prayer to speak in tongues, and sometimes had several people praying their best but to no avail. At home I would try again. At first prayers seemed to go OK, but then instead of the Spirit communicating with my eternal spirit, it seemed to go into hiding, and I concluded that the "phone" was dead or unplugged. This was repeated intermittently over many years. Though the church was into casting "spirits" out nobody suggested there was that sort of a problem.

In November 2004 I became stressed out with computer problems. We went on holiday in the motorhome and as I was driving and the traffic was light some spiritual entity suddenly went outside my head to about 30cm to my left, and imagined something confusing and meaningless. I took this to be just a way of blocking out the thoughts of the things that had stressed me, so was not worried very much, I expected it to stop in a few days. At the time I thought this was a mental breakdown, but as it never interfered with my driving I now doubt that.

There were some images suggesting what the subject was, like the cover of a book suggests what it is about, but this is not what was imagined. The entity didn't seem to have known what to imagine, so it was just confusion, and the implied feeling of doing something physical, which can't be done while driving, so I wasn't doing any such thing, nor would I ever want to be involved.

When the driving was boring this entity would suddenly step out and start imagining outside my head, never in my head or mind, so it was never my thoughts. As soon as I felt that I wanted to pay more attention to the driving it instantly ceased, returning into my head. There was the inference that other people were involved, but there was never any greeting, names, or goodbye. The inferred people would have to have zapped in and out of the vehicle while travelling, without my wife or I noticing.

The attack.

By this time we had been regular attenders in a Pentecostal Church, and certain of our faith, for about 30 years, having accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, and my wife speaks in tongues. At the time we joined there was a Bible College, and in excessive zeal students would pray for anything, if the car wouldn't start they would cast a spirit out of it, but mainly casting evil spirits out of people. I would sometimes be prayed for to get to speak in tongues, but something seemed to block this. Trying again at home it might seem to start ok then it just seemed that the "phone line" was unplugged, and I couldn't get any response. It became very frustrating, sometimes having several people praying for me, and suddenly my emotions would "lock up" and I had no emotional feeling at all. There was an event in early childhood that could be responsible for this, but I had forgiven anyone involved and disposed of this years ago. In all this time no-one ever suggested that I had a spiritual problem, if there was a wrong spirit inhabiting me it was keeping well out of sight, but still able to block some things in the spirit. In looking back on it, it seems I was not very well served by the church.

When we returned from holiday and attended church I was made to feel very unwelcome in the spirit, not just ignored but deliberately ignored. During this stage there was in me, myself as in my soul, a spirit that I took to be my eternal spirit, and we two discussed the problem and try to work out what had gone wrong. There was also the Holy Spirit, but it got the "pip" and sulked in the bottom and would not take part in the conversation, or give any hint of why this had happened. While I was attending church I found that the HS was gradually diminishing, but there was nothing I could do to prevent this, and after about 18 months it wasn't there as far as I could tell. I had repented of everything I could think of, but if I have been falsely accused of doing something physical that never actually happened, I can't convincingly repent of it any more than I could repent of shooting President Kennedy, since I had nothing to do with either event.

About two years into it, a travelling evangelist in the evening service said that if we wrote our problem on a piece of paper and showed him we would get a response from God within a fortnight. Many of us queued up and he briefly looked at the paper and gave it back. During the following Thursday night I woke up and found that someone was going through my mind and snatching the images that had been imagined during the time I was stressed and driving the motorhome and other times while with my wife on that holiday. I wondered if they were taken as evidence or if to release me from the accusations, or just reduce my stress.

In the 6th year near the end of October a visiting pastor came over to where I was sitting and said that I would soon get what I wanted. Early in November during the night I had a vague feeling that a spirit came and told me the attack was ended, and immediately I felt the burden lift. However the relationship was not restored and I still have nagging attacks that I have to fend off. One night I just barely awoke and found I was under attack, and realised there was a dark presence beside the bed trying to get me to accept that I had done these sins imputed to me during the holiday, I rebuked it in Jesus's name and ordered it to keep away, it has. There are still minor mental attacks.

There were still some problems left over from sibling rivalry in my childhood. My sister was older and a "perfect little angel", but she kept claiming that I hit her, and mum would cuddle her and fuss over her. Dad tried to get me to stop hitting her, but since I never did he was not successful in solving the problem. By the time I was in primmer two (6 Years) I knew that it was no good talking to adults as they never believed me. I respected my father, but with some suspicion or caution. One night mum made him try to get me to stop hitting, but since it was not true I would not promise, and even recently on thinking of that night I could still feel my heart go solid like a lump of lead and the emotion of " I would NOT PROMISE because it was NOT right", it was a lie, I didn't do that.

Thought I had forgiven everyone years ago I decided to do it more officially. With some counselling and prayer I was helped to lay it down at the foot of the cross, having forgiven parents and sister, I have never spoken to her about it. I believe something was released, and it is no longer of any consequence. (The process is with prayer, you imagine you have this problem in your hands and lay it down on the floor at the foot of the cross, which you also imagine. Having spirit filled people praying with you also helps).

At this time I had not told my wife about the attack from 6 years previously, but had about childhood problems, so at last I told her. One day I had the impression of looking down inside myself into a tank like a 44 gallon drum (200 litres) but nice an clean and shiny. In the bottom was an entity like a guinea pig or rat, that moved across the bottom to the side and seemed to be puzzled and missing the others. I didn't explain this to my wife but she prayed for me in tongues, and I felt that the entity went away.

The attack had continued with decreasing force for 6 years, but I had to fight with it every night and frequently during each day.
All the time that this attack was going on, for years, I couldn't work out why such a blatant lie was used as an excuse to attack me, nor could I find some other possible reason.

The update.

About that time, before becoming a christian, on a beautiful sunny day, I was walking in the city and had the strange feeling that something/someone climbed up inside me and peered out of my eyes for a few seconds. It was excited, and enjoyed the view and then sneaked down out of sight.

During prayer time for an outreach some years ago, in giving all to God, I found there was a black space in my memory, a piece of time that I didn't own or control. I found that this was the 10 minutes or so that the hypnotist had me, and may have still had control of, blocking me out of that time, even 40 years after her death. It may have been some entity she put into me that was holding onto that time as of right, and of possession and occupation. After reading this my wife prayed for me on a number of points, the mention of this black space seemed to get a significant response in me.

I see there is a parallel in the lies told against me as a small child, and again the false accusation of this attack. The spirit that was in me had waited many years for an opportune moment to frame me and impute some evil to me to strain my relationship with God, as well as impeding my relationship with God.

When the Holy Spirit was given to me some 30 years ago He should have reported that there was an intruder, and sought help in removing this unwanted spirit. The Holy Spirit could, I would expect, see the spiritual reality within me, but I could not, so didn't realise the presence or danger posed by the spiritual being. I have mused on what the Spirit can see. Perhaps it can only hear what is going on in your mind and spirit, and has to make up its own assumptions as to what is actually happening. Is this why Jesus said such things as "if you hate your brother you have murdered him" because the Holy Spirit is keeping note of what you do in your mind, but cannot tell that you didn't actually do it? I believe that God brought the attack to an end, so did he also start it? What sin could I have committed while driving safely since the thoughts were never in my mind, but in some other entity?

I am still trying to get this sorted out, and would greatly appreciate your help in bringing this to Gods attention to get the matter put right. I don't speak in tongues so don't seem to have access to the throne room, but some of you may be in a better relationship and may get some explanation for me. We know from some local advertising that "It's the putting right that counts", and that is what I want, to get back the full joy of my salvation.

I hope someone can throw some light on the problem, or at least that it can help someone else with similar problems. If this has happened to me, then statistically of all the billions of people there have been and will be, then there are probably a million or so in the same or similar trouble.

It seems now that the attack was orchestrated by a demonic spirit that may have been in me from childhood. Possibly from my fathers involvement with Freemasonry, or when I was taken to a hypnotist when about 5 or 6. Some problems of childhood may have made me easy prey for spirits. Late last year, 2010, I was prayed for to stop biting my fingernails, I never made an effort to stop, I just immediately lost interest in it and now have long fingernails, and have to cut them back.

About two years ago I had a healing of something, there had been some vague feelings down below at odd times, and I didn't know what I would say to the doctor, and didn't go. I was on the alter call for something else and had an image of a hand down near my belt, and a reminder of the vague feeling that then went away, and never came back. There were some warnings in a magazine we get, that men should get their PSA checked by the doctor, I did, it is free here, and the results were OK.

I had wondered why the devil would bother with me, but realised that some of my activities are an attack on the devils kingdom, so even though I don't see my efforts as any more than minimal perhaps it has a greater potential effect than I can see. Yours in Christ,
Ernie.